Don’t Take It Personally…Dealing With Those That Do

Don’t take it personally….Have you heard that before?  Most of us have either delivered the message or been on the receiving end.  As my 12 year old son once said “If someone says don’t take it personally, you know it’s going to be personal “ Unfortunately by the time it gets to delivering or receiving the message “Don’t take it personally?” it’s already too late.  Damage is done; message has been received “personally”.

This is really about what to do when you are delivering or receiving a message that is going to be taken personally.   Not because of the message but because of the thinking preferences of the person receiving it.  If you haven’t figured it out by now I’m referring to emotional thinkers.  Whether you are an emotional thinker in the workplace or you’re tolerating one these steps will help manage emotions.

  1. Know that the person is going to take it personally.  That’s what emotional thinkers do.  Don’t expect that you can change that about someone.  You can’t.
  2. Use positive language when providing feedback and focus on idea’s for the future.
  3. Before delivering a message check in to notice what space the person is in.  Someone who strongly “feels” is going to be moody (check and see what the mood is at work today) prior to delivering the message.

One of the most important things you can do to inspire emotional thinkers to produce the results they, you and the organization are looking for is to create an environment where employees feel they are providing added value and are appreciated for who they are and the contribution they make.  Not just appreciation for what they do but how they do it.  Emotional thinkers know the difference.

My intention for these blogs is to provide insight into the frustrations I hear with the hope that it will shine new light to create peace and improved productivity for you as individuals and the organization you serve.

If you would like to discover how you could benefit from coaching e-mail for a complimentary 30 minute coaching session.

Until next time.